trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't turn off my feet"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
