When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
