Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
