Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
