So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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