she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
