Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
