so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
