you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
