he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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