I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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