I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
you never un-have a 4some
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
