What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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