new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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