You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
