The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
