help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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