hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
