Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
