Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
