Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
