I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
