he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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