Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
