do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
