I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
