Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
