I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
