I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
