I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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