I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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