The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
