Having a random hookup so left but love u
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
