yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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