Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
