Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
