my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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