Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
