just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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