i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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