Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
