it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
