I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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