How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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