I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
