it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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