remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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