She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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