Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Randomize
