I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
